was a quote from Paulo Coelho that caught my attention today in a blog I frequent.. Then another friend blogged on trust.. these brought me back to an incident that happened over the weekend. Not one I would have liked to recall or go into details, but given how fresh it is in my mind, plus there are some lingering thoughts which I'd like to pen down. Not to make a point or anything but merely reminding myself to not do onto others what u don't want to done to u. I haven’t (won't be either) spoken about it to anyone except my bro who was kind of indirectly involved. Was so tempted to call N and vent it out but decided not to. Mainly because she knows these people and I do not want her to form an opinion on them.
I know life is too short to hold grudges or to sit on things that are not going to make u happy and bla bla bla.. but isn’t trust a big thing? When u trust someone to be your good friend, companion, the one you pour your heart out, the shoulder you choose to lean on.. and then poop, one day the person says or does something that's hurtful. Maybe they didn’t mean it. Deep down I know they didn’t mean it. They were just words spoken in anger and frustration (don’t we all do that? I’ve done it. and lived to regret it afterwards. more than once). We did apologize after that. I was sorry too as I did say some things I wouldn’t have wanted to say in a tone I never wish to use again. Not on people I care so much at least. I can surely try and forget and move on. That’s what I want to do. I promised to put everything behind like it never happened. But as a famous Tamil proverb says.. The wounds of fire would have gone with the time but not the wounds caused by words. Can I really put it behind? Wouldn’t it be bugging me every time I see the person? At least for some time? I guess we just have to go thru it. I am going to try my very best and I know they are too. Put an act as if none of it happened until the wound heals and the scar fades eventually. Hopefully soon because I'm talking about people who meant and mean a lot to me. All this just thought me to watch what I say. Especially to those you love, for now I know how it feels.. so to those whom i have intentionally (can't think of any right now) or unintentionally broken your trust on me, please know that i am deeply sorry. I am.
So, enough of the dramatic rambles. I just needed a place to vent it out. Its now gone right down to the farthest corner of my brain just waiting to disolve..
On to my next holiday plan. what better way to put the big huge grin on my face! :) After last years big splurge on the holiday budget, I’m going low-key this year. Continuing to explore places around me. I managed to cover Langkawi, Cameron Highland and Perhentian Island last year. This year’s kick off will be North Borneo. N is coming down for the Easter weekend and we (along with my other travel buddy C) have booked a 4 days trip to Kota Kinabalu. too short of a time to explore all of Borneo but leave crunch and all we intend to make the most of it. flight tickets are purchased. Spoke to a Sabahan colleague and made out a rough agenda. A bit of island hopping (hoping to visit the survivor island), watching the supposedly great sunset views around KK city plus trekking and exploring the rainforest of Kundasan, foot of the mount Kinabalu. Should be just nice. Already counting down the days..
Wednesday, 2 March 2011
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